'Valentine's Day' Lacks Humor, Focus and Romance

Valentine’s Day

2010

film review

by Mandy Rodgers

Rated: PG-13

Director: Gary Marshall

Starring: Jessica Alba, Kathy Bates, Jennifer Biel, Bradley Cooper, Eric Dane, Patrick Dempsey, Hector Elizondo, Jennifer Garner, Jamie Foxx, Topher Grace, Anne Hathaway, Carter Jenkins, Ashton Kutcher, Queen Latifah, Taylor Lautner, George Lopez, Shirley MacLaine, Emma Roberts, Julia Roberts, Bryce Robinson and Taylor Swift

     There are several things I am a fan of, and this film contains many of them—romantic comedies, Gary Marshall and Julia Roberts. (Yes, Pretty Woman is still one of my favorites, and I won’t deny it.) Plus, ensembles are so much fun, and this movie is about as star-filled as you can get with many A-listers and the latest up-and-coming actors, complete with Lautner of Twilight fame. So why am I not thrilled with the outcome of the latest flick to oust Avatar out of its top box office seat?

     With all the components of a great romantic comedy, Valentine’s Day misses the mark and ends up playing like a schmaltzy and predictable Lifetime movie as opposed to a funny and watchable box office sensation. With comedy classics like Overboard, Pretty Woman, Runaway Bride and The Princess Diaries under his belt, Marshall knows more than most about directing a timeless rom-com, but maybe Katherine Fugate’s cliché-filled screenplay gave him little to work with. Fugate is known mostly for writing on Lifetime’s "Army Wives"…hmm…maybe it all makes sense now…

     An ensemble piece to the nth degree, no one character is given more credit, but Reed Bennett (Kutcher) keeps the story moving throughout, starting with the film’s opening and his hopelessly romantic character proposing to girlfriend, Morley (Alba) on Valentine’s Day. She says yes, and he immediately wants to tell his BFFs Alphonso (Lopez) and Julia (Garner), who are kind of shocked that the two might actually get hitched. (“Why is everyone so surprised?” he exasperatingly yells several times.)

     And so begins one love story after another with interconnections running along them. Almost as soon as a character was introduced, I guessed their movie love fate—minus one storyline exception that did have me surprised. (I won’t spoil here in case you ever see it.)

     Other than that, you have the older couple who’ve only had eyes for each other, the brand new romance that is still awkward, the high school couple figuring out sexuality, the jilted anti-love lady, the happily married couple, the childhood crush and the philandering husband. They’re all here misbehaving, making up, falling in love or falling out of it in one fateful Valentine’s Day.

     The problem is that the audience is not amused (I think I laughed one time), and they don’t care about most of the characters (hard to get romantic with unlikable people). Garner and Kutcher are the standouts and perhaps the center of the wavering story. She’s adorable, and he is…well, himself, it seems, but charming nonetheless. Marshall-movie-mainstay Elizondo and the always skilled MacLaine keep their usual poise and grace in their scenes, but Biel, Alba, Bates, Latifah and Roberts are given very little to do. Dempsey, Dane and Cooper serve their roles in the film but lack depth and background making for a muddled cacophony of events.

     With this many varied characters and actors, it’s hard to juggle the stories, but other films in the same vein have succeeded in telling involving tales of love or adventure—Paris, je t'aime, Ocean’s Eleven and Playing by Heart, to name a few.

     Valentine’s Day was never going to be (or intended) to please everyone, but I at least thought the romantic comedy lovers would have something to enjoy on the holiday weekend, and I was disappointed.

     Even Swift as the unabashedly in love teen was obnoxious to me, and I am a die-hard Taylor Swift fan. Why don’t they make them like they used to?